Stress

I just got off work after a three day stretch and I'm exhausted. I can't fall asleep because I just realized I bought 2 copies of Assassin's Creed over Amazon; one under my profile and one under Allison's. I have no idea how I did it, but I did. That pushed me over the edge because for the past week and a half, my truck has been acting up. I went by Meineke and they said it was a flex pipe issue, but this morning, the strange noise that I heard had stopped, but the battery light came on. Either way, it's going to be an expense that needs to be dealt with. Do I fork over more money into this truck or do I bite the bullet and get a new car (which I also can't afford). It's so hard to get ahead these days; I can't keep my credit card paid off, I can't fucking do anything I want to do, I can't spend money on things that I want. Perhaps this is a lesson on how difficult it is for one to veer away from the consumer lifestyle. But nonetheless, it sucks. My first paycheck of the month goes to rent. All of it. Except for about $100. With that $100 I need to pay my car insurance though, which is $69. So I've got about $30 to play with for 2 weeks. As for the next check, a bulk of it goes to my credit cards. I've got her ring to pay off, about $2200 on my Capital One card, then there's gas, groceries, etc. Don't get me wrong, we're making it, but it seems like everytime the question comes up of whether or not we should do something on our days off, we always have to ask if we can afford it. Even travelling. We can't take my truck in fear it'll roll over and die, but I don't like her footing the bill for gas when we take her car, so I offer to help. I really just hope we're better off this year, or by the end of this year. This year is going to be amazing, so much is going on. A lot is going to depend on Allison's position she gets next year, where ever it may be. Everybody keep their fingers crossed. I'm not saying that once she finds a suitable position, everything will be fine, because that's not necessarily true, but it should be much easier. I really do love her with all of my heart, rich or poor. I'm pretty sure being rich (or further from poor) is better though.